(****) The Incredibles(2004)

In a season where Alexander the Great is just so so, The Incredibles is, just that … incredible! Simply put, Pixar knocks another one out of the park. The team that brought toys, ants, fish, and monsters to life takes a stab at drawing something new for their central characters – human beings. Though purposely drawn  “cartoon character-ish,” don’t kid yourself, these are fully developed characters with more heart, empathy and depth than their real life action movie counterparts.

Mr. Incredible, and his alter ego Bob Parr, marries his main squeeze, the incredibly flexible Elastigirl, but their crime fighting days together are short lived. After frivolous lawsuits against superheroes pile up, these good Samaritans are exiled into a witness relocation-like program and are forbidden to use their super powers for good.   

Fast-forward fifteen years: Bob and Helen (Elastigirl) are living in suburbia. Although the film is not time stamped with current pop culture, making it timeless, it has the look and feel of the mid 1940s and fast-forwards into the mid 60s. It’s not a coincidence these superheroes find a home in manicured subdivisions the same decade that our comic book heroes jumped off their pages into black and white televisions through out suburbia.

Helen is charged with bringing up their three kids, who also have super powers of their own. Pre teen Dashiell 'Dash' Parr can move at lighting speed, his older sister, soft-spoken Violet Parr can turn invisible. This is fitting, as what teen doesn’t feel invisible at times? Their infant brother has yet to develop his superpowers. Helen can stretch and contort her body in any direction. With her crime fighting days behind her, it’s only now that she is really stretched to her limits – as a full time mother of three. But she is happy with her role. Despite superpowers these family members, behind the masks, are real. They show us, humanity, sibling rivalry, distain for a dead end job, and of most importantly -- the notion that family comes first.

Bob can bend steel and break though anything. Anything but the three walled cubical where he has been morphed into a beaten down, Dibertized insurance claims adjuster. You can see the pain in his eyes, his whole body for that matter, as he knows he has so much more to offer mankind. This movie succeeds as the Simspons does, on two levels, one for kids and the other for adults.  A trick few films can pull off. The characters are developed through a fast paced plot that will keep the Kindercare set entranced, but also a heavy dose of  “in jokes” for adults who also long to burst our of their cubicles. What forty-something can’t relate to a midlife crisis when they long for more? To offer more to the world, their loved ones and themselves.

Before long Mr. Incredible, with the help of his long time friend (and also retired superhero) Syndrome voiced perfectly by Samuel L. Jackson, jumps into action to save the world. And unbeknownst to him, he also saves his own self-esteem in the process. But who will save him? His family will, who else? So they suit up with the help of scene-stealer Edna 'E' Mode, voiced larger than life by Brad Bird (also the film’s writer and director). Edna is a mix between the world’s finest (and most avant-garde) clothing designers and James Bond’s gadget God, Q.

Big name actors doing voiceovers don’t distract from this (or any) Pixtar instant classic, they add depth. Craig T Nelson is dead-on as Bob and Holly Hunter pops as Helen. Ironically, Hunter who was seen and not heard, as a mute in The Piano, is now the opposite; she can be heard but not seen as the voice of Helen.

In one hilarious montage Edna exclaims the dangers of superheroes wearing capes. While humorous, is shows us that not all superheroes wear capes. Maybe that’s because they don’t all fly around saving people, but also live in the suburbs, working hard to provide for their families. What kid wouldn’t want their parents to be superheroes in these challenging times? Lucky, many kids’ parents are just that. Preparing their children to make the world better a better place.  And to quote the eccentric Edna 'E' Mode, “luck favors the prepared.”

The Incredibles: Online

(***) Alexander (2004)

Alexander’s thirty-three years, from birth to death, are encompassed in this supposed epic. Funny the film seemed longer than that.

Nearly three hours long we see lots of cool battle scenes (read: Gladiator retread) and also get to see the softer side of the man who would be king. For starters, his family is really just one transvestite away from a Jerry Springer episode.  Mom is played by Angelina Jolie, only a year older than her co-star playing her son, Colin Farrell in the title roll. Jolie is stunning as Olympias. While not her fault (entirely), but when a screen star has such a larger than life off screen persona, the lines get blurry when they play larger than screen on screen personas, but Jolie (as always) pulls it off.  I commend Oliver Stone for not packing on the “age paste.” A little graying of a few hairs goes a long way with a talent like Jolie, who can act with her eyes, to show age via life experiences. Her strong will makes Farrell look like Alexander the Wuss. While Farrell does an adequate job, he’s no Russell Crowe. But at least he does less cussing in the film than he does as a guest on Leno when pimping the flick. As for Val Kilmer as father, King Phillip, he was covered so heavily with a Tiny Tim hair piece, one can barely tell it’s Kilmer let alone his age.

Olympias clearly didn’t read Parenting for Dummies; at best she only skimmed it. You should give your child a rattle, not a rattle SNAKE. She tells young Alexander, “never falter, never show your fear.” Ironically, it’s Alexander’s horse that falters in the final battle scene, because he’s afraid of his shadow (long story – don’t ask). Alexander seems to falter throughout the film. Torn between the love of his parents that are at odds. Torn between he love of his wife and his childhood companion. Alexander is presented to the audience as relatively benevolent. He cares for country over himself. Plus he knows this, and he spouts it whenever he needs to rally his troops. The guy has issues.

So what do you do when your parents can't get along? Lash out. Not at friends – but at all of Asia. Go east, young man. And he does, creating little Alexndrias along the way. That is cities, not off-spring. He seems to have a problem with the later, if you know what I mean. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

If there is anything worse than traveling across the land to expand one’s empire, no matter how good the intent, it’s the blatant misuse of Anthony Hopkins. That money could have been spent on a lesser actor and a good script editor. He is little more than a narrator, dictating the story to young men in togas like an executive screams to a secretary, “take a memo.” But the scribs are armed only with parchment, ink and feather. It's like an HP commercial without the payoff. Hopkins is incredibly talented. I can only guess he’s chewing up the scenery to get off the sound stage and fire his agent.

All this said, this is not a BAD film. In fact, it’s ALMOST a good one. It simply didn’t have to be three hours. It seems to be long so they can call it an epic. It’s not a History Channel piece. It’s a film -- entertainment. It should give us the essence if the title character – not every detail. Historians will love this film more then movie buffs. There is a reason the film is not called, “Alexander the Great” Four words: truth in advertising laws. 

Alexander: Online

(*****) Mean Creek (2004)

(Note: this is one of the best films of the year.  While only a few plot points are reveled in this review, it is suggested you see this film, THEN read this review)

To say that Mean Creek pulls themes from The River’s Edge and Lord of the Flies does not give this film the credit it richly deserves. If anything this film is the mirror image of those films. Where in The River’s Edge, the teens are indifferent to the world around them, Creek’s kids are emotion filled. Where Lord’s kids act out their frustrations on the meek “fat kid,” Creek’s tubby child is no Piggy. He’s not wise and innocent. He’s a troubled boy that lashes out at the world. He protects his hurt and hides his feeling by tormenting others. This mistake will cost him.

This is an excellent film. On its outer layer it’s about four teens set out to exact revenge on a school bully. In a harmless prank gone wrong we feel for these kids as they have tough choices to make. While many coming of age films study the consequences of choices, this films goes one step further. Not only do we see the kids deal with the cost of their actions, the film also delves into the choices of taking these actions in the first place.

While the six children (including the bully and a teen unaware of the prank) are a mix of personalities, their differences are not that extreme. This group is not a subset of all society as in The Breakfast Club or dare say, Gilligan’s Island. Rather the film pulls kids that have their own demons and pasts that form their values, with more similarities as the film progresses.

The heavyset George bullies Sam, an angelic thirteen-year-old Sam.  While Sam is clearly a righteous child, the film ignores the fact that in the very first scene Sam goaded George by messing with his camcorder. George overreacts and sends Sam home with a shiner. We learn later that the camcorder is more than a piece of electronic equipment to George, but really the only way he can make sense of his troubled world and express himself.

Sam’s brother Rocky and his two friends Clyde and Marty develop a plan to get back at George. The group lures George on a boat trip where they plan a harmless humiliation prank. Also in the boat is Millie. She is not only a good friend of Sam’s but we see the two are starting to learn about love. Millie knows nothing about the prank. When she learns of it, she demands they don’t follow through. She is the Lord of the Flies’ Simon, the voice of reason. She is humanity. Being the only female in the group allows Millie’s character to be that voice of reason while not being a “wimpy teen boy.” If anything Millie is a tough thirteen year old who stands behind her words as well as a gentle innocent girl, balanced together.  

What makes these characters so engaging is that, with the exception of Millie, there really is no white and black, good and evil, here -- only shades of gray. The grayest is Marty. But through a well-crafted script, we understand why he does what he does. That’s why we have sympathy for him, even has he makes poor choices.

On the other end of the spectrum is Clyde, a rather meek teen. One may wonder why he would choose to be so close a friend to Marty and Rocky. Probably because they were friends for so long, way before Marty’s rage began to bubble up and before his own gentle side developed. Rocky is the glue that binds these two together. Clyde is a child with two fathers (either by birth by one or adoption, we don’t know). We see him ridiculed by others that question his sexuality. We can see hurt in his eyes from the taunting, but he does not let his hurt control his actions, nor does he demand those slinging the insults stop. The character seems to have wisdom beyond his years. Perhaps he remains silent out of respect for his fathers. For to admit to being called a homosexual is an insult would be to dishonor his parents. Ironically, it is Clyde, one of the least involved in the prank that shows the most remorse and guilt for the group’s actions.

As the teens paddle down the river, none will be the same upon their return. The film is brilliantly done. The camera work makes the audience feel like a seventh teen sitting silently in the back of the boat. Characters’ souls are exposed to us through their actions and reactions, good or bad. Their pasts are delicately layered. The subtly of this film is what makes it even that much the better. The use of silence rather than a tensing soundtrack makes the viewer feel they are lost on that Oregon river.

The performance of the young cast doesn’t look like a cast of kids at all. The group looks and acts like real teens dealing with the situation they have either caused or fell into. I would give each of them an Oscar statuette if I could. Throw in two more for writer and director Jacob Aaron Estes. The cast being relatively unknowns only adds to their believability. The most know is Rory Culkin, the youngest of the Culkin clan. At least his last name is known. As the main character, he really is the calm eye of this crazed storm. He underplays Sam, allowing us to see that Sam wants to be accepted by those around him just as much as George aggressively tries to gain acceptance. Trevor Morgan is probably the next most known face as Rocky. He showed fear and determination so well in Jurassic Park III and his acting skills have been even more honed since then. Then again, it’s easy to appear more realistic when dinosaurs are not chasing at your heels. In many ways the story really is Rocky’s story as much as Sam’s. After all, it’s Rocky that is the link between Sam and his protectors. And the talented Morgan carries that heavy load with ease.

Mean Creek is a metaphor for life choices.  If you do nothing the current will pull you along in its own direction. But one has choices. You can drift along like a stick bobbing in the river or choose to paddle to the direction of your own destiny. The film reminds us how important our true friends are, as it’s better to have them at our side to help paddle, especially as the waters are not always calm.

Mean Creek: Online

(** ½) 13 Going On 30 (2004)

(Watched on DVD) Kids, they grow up so fast. Literally overnight, in this case.  Thirteen-year-old Jenna Reck is not happy being an awkward teen that can’t seem to befriend the “cool kids.” Like any teen is happy not fitting in. So thanks to some magic dust from her best friend, Matt, from next door, she gets her wish (I still wonder where Matt got that dust).  She gets everything she wants. At least everything she THINKS she wants. Her body changes into a 30 year old, but not any 30 year old, into, Jennifer Garner. Garner does what she does in all her roles – she lights up the screen. She displays innocence here just as convincingly as she displayed attitude when she was wrapped in leather in Daredevil. She does not just display 13-year-old innocence -- she exudes it.

While this sounds like a BIG re-tread, and in many ways it is, there are a couple more changes, than merely gender. When Tom Hanks turned Big, he woke up in his only bed. Here Jenna’s whole world has changed. She closes her eyes in 1987 and wakes up in 2004. She has her own place, the dream job as a fashion editor  - the whole shebang. All her friends have grown up, too. As she starts to enjoy her job, she learns that there was a price to getting all her dreams – that is her integrity.  She has become a corporate snake. Clearly this started at 13 – when she wrongly blamed her best friend Matt for her not getting in with the in crowd. For the sappy summary: she looses everything she really wants to get what she thinks she wants.

While there are SOME funny moments it’s hard not to remember that Big had more warmth and heart. Perhaps it shows us how much the big scary fast paced adult world around us has change since 1988’s Big and today’s Thirteen.

In Big, Hanks’ Josh tries to return to his own body, with an almost OZ like message, There’s no place like home. Jenna is fine with the fact that 17 years have gone by in a flash. Her real journey is to return to her old spirit rather than her former body. She’s a good person. We know that, and SHE knows that. She has to make amends for what apparently she did in those two lost decades.

The ticking clock in this flick is to come up with a big new ad campaign for the magazine, and with only days to do it. How come movie characters that are execs always have to come up with big ad campaigns? And it’s always in only a few days. Funny how they always parallel to their own concerns and are more catharsis than sound business decisions. In this case it’s returning to high school, ironically something Jenna missed out on. If you are a fan of this sappy “tied nicely with a ad campaign bow type ending” – just watch any episode of Bewitched.

I won’t tell you if she gets the job done, cause it’s not that important. And I won’t tell you whom she ends up with, because you probably already know. But I will give the movie credit for its uplifting ending that gives everyone what he or she deserves. And it allows all the characters to remain true to the themselves. Jenna realizes just what Dorothy did. If you really want something – it’s right there in your own back yard – or in this case right next door.

13 Going On 30 Online

(**) Open Water (2003)

Don’t you just hate it when you go diving and the boat leaves you behind in open water? I know I do. And so do two overworked yuppies, Susan and Daniel, who go on their first vacation in God knows when. We know they are yuppies, at least “movie yuppies,” because they drive a nice car, live in a nice house and live on their cell phones and laptops to communicate with work. I used to think I was that important that the job could not go on without me.

Once our two tadpoles get to the oceanfront – we see them relax. It’s about exciting as watching your friends’ vacation videos – and the poor camera work gives off the same quality that John and Carol down the street could have done. If that was intentional, I ask, why? The film is so low budget, they apparently couldn’t spring for a camera dolly or maybe the producers skipped the pages on pan shots and background music when they skimmed “Making Movies for Dummies.” One vacation photo “keeper” is when Daniel jokingly puts his head in the mouth of a shark on the pier. Foreshadowing this blatant, isn’t eerie, it leaves you rolling your eyes thinking, “yeah, I get it, I’m not an idiot.”

Finally our two shark chow hit the water. The boat leaves them and they float around and wait. And wait. And wait. And so does the audience. They are bitten by jelly fish before the sharks finally start to poke around. No Bruce, the mechanical shark, here. Remember, these are the people that couldn’t spring for a camera dolly. Their money shot was to rent or borrow a Lexis SUV for the “look, we are yuppies cause we drive a luxury SUV” opening shot.

This movie breaks film preconceived notions. Unfortunately notions like all indie movies are clever.  Sure they put forth a gallant effort. But that’s what my parents told me when I worked on that volcano project in fourth grade. Like my volcano, the big eye popping conclusion never really came, just a fissile that faded away leaving me to wonder what went wrong – but I got an A for effort as it was a gallant effort. 

Yes, we feel for these two. We could feel their desperation. But we also wanted them to be saved or eaten so we could get back to our busy fast paced lives – and check our voice mail.

Open Water: Online

(****) EXORCIST: THE BEGINNING (2004)

This is the fourth (or third for you Exorcist purists) story in the Exorcist franchise. The year is 1948, and Father… errr Mr. Merrin has given up the cloth. Hired by the British for his archeological and religious expertise, Merrin finds himself in East Africa. He battles, Pazuzu, the demon that he will fight 25 years later to save 12-year-old Regan. It’s this film’s battle that saves him and returns him to religion.  That’s right. He lives. And he finds his religious grounding again. I’m not giving anything away because we know that from Exorcist One. Ironically the reason Merrin loses his faith is what ultimately brings him back – pure evil.

The story is more of a character study of Merrin and makes watching the original Exorcist that much more intriguing. It’s weaves Merrin’s haunted past into the film’s present day and it’s that past that is what moves him forward. It also gives Pazusu some powerful ammunition. Just as Father Karras’s guilt did in the first Exorcist. Most of the movie is rather subtle – yet still frightening. What we don’t see scares us as much as what we see in the later less subtle sequences.

While Merrin might not know Pazuzu’s power, we, the audience, do – and it ain’t pretty! This makes the movie that much more terrifying and the protagonist that much more venerable. It’s not until act three that the visual scariness takes a front seat. What the end lacks in pea soup, it more than makes up in special effects and holy water. Needless to say anyone that is possessed has mores boils and wrinkles then an extra cheese pizza. While the end is a little visually over the top, it all works.

As the credits roll, our hero is back on track. It’s eerie to see him walk away dawning his hat and case that will later (err, earlier, 1973) encapsulate the look of Regan’s savior. I only wish that the finial tranquil scene had been looped with those haunting tubular bells we know so well. Just as a reminder to us was Merrin will later face. Then again, perhaps we don’t need to be reminded. The movie left me wanting to learn more about Merrin’s life between 1948 and 1973. That’s the sign of a well-done prequel.

After this film, watch the original again – and you will fully appreciate why Father Merrin knows what Father Karras can only fear. 

The Exorcist: The Beginning

(-**) AVP – ALIEN VS PREDATOR (2004)

(Yes, I DO mean negative two asterisks) You will laugh your as* off. One problem – this is not a comedy. The movie tag line is, “Whoever Wins… we lose.” That’s half right: we lose. I don’t just want my eight bucks back – I want my 101 minutes back! You can learn many things from this movie such as Aliens write in Arabic and use the metric system. Hmmm, they can’t get the United States on this sensible calibration system – but Aliens picked right up on it. Also aliens know how to lure humans to them – build pyramids under the ice in Antarctica. That’s impressive cause I can’t even get my friends from DC to come to Bethesda, Maryland. AVP, to me, means, Avoid this Vile Production.

Alien VS Predator: Online

(***) THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE (2004)

Remake on a classic. I think it was Roger Ebert who said, why don’t they remake bad films and leave the classics alone (I’m paraphrasing). But seriously, I’m STILL waiting for a remake of Fantastic Voyage. But I digress. Manchurian is a gallant effort. Great casting and acting. I might be jaded but the story moved too slow. Again, the commercials gave away too much. I love Meryl Steep but she’s a little too Mommy Dearest in this flick.

The Manchurian Candidate: Online

(*****) THE BOURNE SUPREMACY (2004)

A fun rollercoaster ride!  One of the Best movies of it’s genre. One small problem. When you cast Julia Stiles – give her more screen time! She’s a phenomenal actress and only gets better with each performance. Matt Damon carries the role of an action star very well. Better than his buddy, Ben Affleck (Yes, I saw Paycheck – I don’t want to talk abut it). Joan Allen plays the protagonist beautifully. She too is a major talent. She’s the best antagonist since Tommy Lee Joes in The Fugitive.

The Bourne Supremacy: Online

(*****) I, Robot (2004)

To quote Tony the Tiger, it’s “GREEEEAAT!” Great actions scenes! Great pacing! A great story with continuity from start to finish! One of the best movies of it’s genre and of the summer! Will Smith hits another one out of the park! A si/fi action thriller that actually makes sense! At times there are too many special effects, but given the topic, it’s acceptable. In the not to distant future, robots will make our lives easier. Or will they? The film asks the question – do we really know what’s best for ourselves?  I don’t know how they did it but they made a cerebral, thought provoking si/fi action thriller. The ending ties the film together and makes you say, “wow! I get it! Cool!” It’s not a thrown together John Grishamish ending that leaves you starching your head thinking, “Uh? What were they thinking?” It’s not the predictable ending of, say, just the robots having a bad day, or a few humans getting greedy. The movie is what Minority Report tried to do, but only came close.  One other problem – now I’m very paranoid that my Palm Pilot will start to control me. But then again, maybe it already does. 

I, Robot: Online

(Zero *s) GARFIELD: THE MOVIE (2004)

Ok, I didn’t see it – but the preview almost made me hurl! Bill Murray lent his voice to this movie, and I use the term “movie” loosely. He has become an accomplished actor. What was he thinking?  If he read the script and it seemed funny to him, all I can say is, something must have gotten “lost in translation.”

Garfield: The Movie Online

(****) THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS (2001)

(Watched on DVD) The movie was kinda disturbing – but in a good way. Over the top characters played VERY well. This is hard to do, so hats off for a great script and a talented cast. Sorry, I’m not a fan of Gwyneith Paltrow, and while I don’t see that changing anytime soon, she was excellent. She held her own against Gene Hackman, my second all time favorite, only behind Dustin Hoffman. That is saying a lot. I wish more comedies were this introspective.

The Royal Tenenbaums: Online

(** 1/2) STARSKY & HUTCH (2004)

(Watched on DVD) Stiller and Wilson are a great team. Only the story seemed thrown together. We got the two guys that look like Starsky & Hutch and we got the car now what? You got me, I’m still asking myself that very question. Maybe they should have answered that question BEFORE they wrote the script. But to be fair, there were some fun moments.

Starsky & Hutch: Online

(*****) RUNAWAY JURY (2003)

This was a great film! It blows the often accurate myth “the movie is never as good as the book” out of the water. Those people in Hollywoodland must have probed my thoughts in my sleep because they took my favorite Grisham novel (yes, I know some of them have endings the guy must have written in his car while waiting for a light to change), my two favorite actors, Hoffman, and Hackman (in that order) and thrown them into a film with other great talent such as John Cusack (this century’s most underrated actor) and made a movie that keeps your eyes glued to the screen, even if you have already read the book. It’s high time this pager turner made it to the screen. 

Runaway Jury Online